I have been trying to write this post for weeks. WEEKS.
Shizz is about to get real, I’m just warning you. All week I have been reading these Body Positive articles on Buzzfeed (read them here) and it really has gotten me thinking. I saw an article a few days ago on Bustle titled 11 Ways To Teach Your Kids To Be Body Positive and I pretty much ended up in tears over it because it was the absolute exact opposite of how I was raised. My mom was (and still is) extremely obsessed with not only her appearance & weight but my appearance and weight as well. I used to hide snacks in my room because I was too afraid to eat in front of her for fear of what she would say. I still, at 34, stop and eat before I go to her house, even if I’m going for lunch or dinner because I know she watches what I put into my mouth like a hawk & she prefers when I leave half my plate full and don’t touch dessert. At 34 she still stresses me out about my body, what I eat, etc and I would hate for anyone else to have to experience that. I would swim 4 hours a day and eat healthy and would only lose a pound. It’s all in my hormones and my thyroid. It’s not that I wasn’t trying. But all she could see was my aunt and grandmother, who had limited mobility and painful arthritis and a host of other health problems. My mom has always been obsessed with her appearance and very negative towards herself. She was the head cheerleader, homecoming & prom queen. & I’m the weird, chubby, tattooed, funky haired girl. We couldn’t be more opposite. When we went to the beach as kids she wore a t shirt and jeans, never got in the water, never swam with us and she still wears the same thing to the beach with her grandkids. My mom has never worn shorts that I can remember in my 34 years. And she’s not big at all. She’s fit, active & is usually between a size 8-10. It breaks my heart to see all the negativity she surrounds herself with and I am determined to not let that be my life as well. I want to be happy with myself, love myself, accept myself. Sure, we can always improve but when you are the victim and self hating 24-7 you never reach your full potential. You get stuck in the grind. You don’t reach for your dreams. And I want you to reach for your dreams!
This is my WHY. This is why I am constantly telling you to do the boudoir session even if you think you need to lose 10lbs. This is why I want you to love yourself NOW. Would you rather feel like the amazing goddess you are, comfortable in your skin and happy with yourself or would you rather constantly feed the negativity & be unhappy with yourself? Why wouldn’t you choose to be that goddess everyone around you knows you are? Is loving yourself and being body positive easy? NO. It requires some deep soul searching work on yourself. You have to get over a lot of shit to get to the point where you feel like a fucking goddess. It takes time & it isn’t always pretty. But you take tiny steps. You work towards it. Every day to look yourself in the mirror and you tell yourself every thing you love about yourself, what you’ve accomplished, what badass things you’re going to accomplish.
This article came up on my news feed today about wearing a swimsuit during the summer as a mom, as I’m sure a number of similar articles and blog posts will over the summer. You already have that bikini body. It all starts with putting on the damn swimsuit! That’s it. You have to turn off the negative inner roommate in your head and actually live in & enjoy the moment. Get into the water with your kids. Build the sandcastle. Chase them through the sprinkler. Be present and confident and love your damn self because you’re fucking awesome. Your kids will remember that you were there with them, they won’t remember that you had a muffin top or jiggly arms. I love this quote from the article:
“I’ve wasted too much energy in my life putting down my body and myself. The change I needed to make was to start to love my body—to really love it, see it, accept it. And that meant recognizing the power, strength, and gifts my body has provided. I haven’t lost the baby weight, maybe I never will, and that’s OK. I belong in a swimsuit, and if I don’t put on my swimsuit because I’m concerned my body isn’t good enough, I will without a doubt miss out on fun memories and experiences.”
Ready to take the next steps to building your body confidence?
I created 10 steps for you to take. I will be breaking them down via the blog over the next few weeks. Read it. Share it. Believe it.